November...

was more than a doozy.

I have come close to straight up quitting my job on more than one occasion.

Was sick twice. The first time I thought I had strep. The second I was so sick I didn't travel for Thanksgiving.

Work is killing me.

I am deep in a weird depressive state that feels like it isn't getting better and maybe never will.

I just got married. I am supposed to be happy.

I am not happy. I am miserable.

2019 Goals Update

1. Blog 3x a week - Nope
2. Learn to bake good bread that I can eat from scratch. - I've stopped baking, and don't think I'll be starting back up for a bit. "Trying to be healthier" is the excuse I'm going to give.
3. Learn about keeping chickens - We learned enough to realize we aren't going to be keeping chickens for a while.
4. Career development -  Workin on it.
5. Stick to a budget, don't just track spending - Eh, we spent some of our own cash on the wedding, which has impacted our budgeting ability. Plus side, we didn't go into debt for the wedding! We have an "official" budget but because we don't do cash envelopes I don't actually know how we're doing with it any given month. We should probably start having budget meetings.
6. Get married - Done!
7. Take more pictures - Starting to realize I'm not a great photo taker. I'm still trying, but it's not super easy. I'm hoping to do December Daily this holiday season.
8. Read more, at least 40 books, preferably over 50 - I changed my Goodreads goal to 52, which was a mistake because I've been inching my way through the 20s since summer. I'd hoped to read more on the honeymoon but nope.
9. Take a class, keep learning - No real progress on this still, but looking at classes to start in the new year.
10. Lose 20 pounds - Post-wedding I'm back on WW and lost a few pounds the first week.
11. Plan a fun trip - Done! We had a great honeymoon and have a trip planned for next year. We did book Yellowstone but plan to cancel it soon due to work stuff. We'll be on a cruise again next fall and maybe something else during the summer, with several small camping trips this fall/winter.
12. Eat something I've grown in the garden - We've done so much of this! Success!

Meal Planning

Dan and I had a conversation this morning about meals. I've always struggled with meal planning. My idea of meal planning was basically just having the same meal every day for a week - typically rice and beans or some sort of a salad. Dan doesn't plan meals - he always wants meat and potatoes. Basically nothing remotely "healthy" - typical man.

As always, I am trying to do better with my eating and meal planning. We also have *tons* of cookbooks - that I almost never use. Starting this week I am planning our weekly meals in advance, and using the (countless) cookbooks I own to help with it. Here is our plan for this week:

Sunday 7/7 - Leftovers
Dan eats dinner with his mom and they watch a TV show I've never seen, so he'll be there and I'll eat leftovers

Monday 7/8 - Garlic-dijon roasted pork tenderloin with potatoes and green beans
Skinnytaste One and Done Cookbook

Tuesday 7/9 - Chipotle
Tuesdays are our busy night. Dan picks up Chipotle and has it waiting for me when I get home

Wednesday 7/10 - Petite meatloaf dinner
Skinnytaste One and Done Cookbook

Thursday 7/11 - Grilled lemon-chile shrimp summer salad
Skinnytaste One and Done Cookbook (can you tell which cookbook I grabbed first?)

Friday 7/12 - Italian Pasta Salad
In the Kitchen with David

Saturday 7/13 - Out of town

Sunday 7/13 - Out of town

Flow State

Why is getting into a "flow state" at work good, but getting into a "flow state" at almost anything else bad?

For example, if you were in a state of flow with MarioKart, people might say you are addicted to video games.

But... if you are in a "flow state" everyday at work you are doing a great job. Other people need to work as hard as you do!

Train of thought brought to you by the Age of Addiction.

Monday Musings - 4.29

1. Early rising - This has actually been going pretty well! My alarm goes off at either 6:00 or 6:15 depending on when I go to bed, and I've been out of bed and doing things I want to do between 6:15-6:30 every day. No, I don't just hop right up out of bed (yet), but I'm working on it. I think it's making me more productive at work, too, because I start the day off "productive", even if I'm not doing "real work"
2. Planner - I did get the .5 year Stalogy A5 in the mail, but I'm not using it yet. Because of my serious lack of daily planning on the weekends, I could probably go ahead and start using it, but I am enjoying a 2-book system right now and don't want to throw it off with a spot for just daily planning. I need daily, weekly, and monthly views and right now (only 3 days left with students) I don't want to try to throw that off.
3. Semester - I am not as far along with grading as I'd have liked (thanks, my first completely free weekend in a month), but I am not behind! I graded a few assignments that were turned in on Friday, but I didn't grade most of them. I get to spend today listening to a bunch of voiceover powerpoint presentations.

Rising Early

I am by no means an early riser. Like, my dream job includes me getting to sleep in until 7:30 (and also maybe nap during the day). We also don't have kids yet, which means when I wake up is 100% in my control! But when my alarm goes off, all I want to do is lie in bed and relax. Yet somehow I decided I want to become an early riser, to have more time in the morning to get things done that I actually want to do. Therefore, cleaning should not be on the "early rise" list.

Granted, I don't have much "chill" time in my schedule, and it's usually at night (when I'm too tired to realize I'm "relaxing" by watching tv). If I'm going to keep waking up early, I'd like for it to be something I can look forward to. Right now, that basically just includes writing a blog post, but maybe once we get some exercise equipment it can include an hour on the elliptical or something. Not that I'd really look forward to the elliptical, but it's something.

Some ideas I've had for things to work on in the mornings include:

• writing (not just on the blog, but maybe a book too?)
• exercise (see, I do need that elliptical!)
• meditation (I really need to chill)
• reading (who doesn't love books?)
• applying for jobs (until I find a new one)

I like to work on habits and routines in the summer because I have more free time. I'm never at work late and everything can still get done, which frees up my mental energy to other things in my life.

I think tonight before bed I will create a plan for my "early rise" tomorrow morning. Early risers - do you wake up early 7 days a week? Or sleep in on weekends? I think I will need a break - at least on Saturdays - but we'll see.

What's Annoying Me Right Now

So far time tracking is going okay and I am finally learning how to use my EC in a way that works for me (just in time for the Stalogy to arrive today), but that's not the focus of today's post.  I am focusing on my annoyances today instead of the other stuff.

1. Work. More specifically, the people there. I just can't wrap my head around how these people got into these jobs, how they determine their priorities, and why I am lumping myself in with them. My pulse is going up just thinking about it.
2. Waking up early sucks. I am not really a morning person, but especially so when I don't go to sleep until 11 at night. The first few days of 7 hours of sleep worked for me, but I don't think that sleep debt will be able to keep working.
3. Since I got more specific about the first work, this one can be work but OMG IT'S THE END OF THE SEMESTER. I am glad I am mostly caught up but it's still such. a. pain. Would I like it more if the rest of my job didn't exist? Probably. Would I like my job if the teaching part didn't exist? Probably.
4. I registered for the wrong hunter safety course and now have to complete an online class before next Saturday.
5. I am not reading as much as I should be and all of my library books are straight up TAUNTING me.